I mean, aside from a truly uninspiring assortment of canned and dried goods. I suppose it’s time to go to the grocerage and get some delicious meals.

…ah, did you notice what I just did there? “Grocerage”.

Not even a real word.

How are you going to stop that? I bet you thought “oh, he’s using an obscure and/or obsolete word, possibly for comic effect.” But no. Just made that one up. Grocerage. You’d think someone would have done it before, but they didn’t — not in any published form, anyway. I’m sure someone has put those syllables together. And yet only 372 Google results, which is a sure sign of not a real word. And if I hadn’t called it out, you wouldn’t have known the difference.

Oh, it is a good thing that I use this brain of mine for good and not evil. Though I have to confess, I can’t think of any fake-word-based crimes I could do if I…

…oh, no, wait. Rigged spelling bee. You know all those spelling bees you enter with confidence? Well, if I were a different sort of man, you’d all have that fear in the back of your heads, the fear that I was pulling the strings. But I’m not that sort of man. I’m just an ordinary honest guy — the kind of guy you see at the grocerage.